Kristin's Journey

Three Years!!!

2010-07-13T17:17:00.000-07:00

Three years...feels like yesterday...feels like forever.
I cannot believe all the things that have happened, that I have seen, learned and done.
I am grateful each day for every day that I have been given...

Life is Good

2009-05-18T21:45:00.001-07:00

It’s been a really good couple of months; life is flying by, but like I said, it’s really good. I don’t think I could ask for it to be any better than it is.

I’ve been volunteering quite a bit at the Puget Sound affiliate of Susan G. Komen. I am on the Survivor committee for the Race for the Cure; we are in charge of the Survivor and Tribute tents on race day and also for the Survivor Breakfast. My biggest job is to make a robe for the “Queen for the Day”. I’m having a lot of fun doing it. I am also working in the office doing data entry and other various jobs related to the Race. I have formed my own team again this year…hopefully my teammates will actually join me one of these days. Feel free to check out my site and donate if you feel so inclined; http://www.pugetsoundraceforthecure.org/site/TR/Race/General?px=1246541&pg=personal&fr_id=1130&et=zYRSDiEph2Vgbsk60GmsEA..&s_tafId=14030

I’ve been in a couple fashion shows in the past month, both benefitting cancer charities. The first was for Gilda’s Club, which is a wonderful place for anyone affected by any type of cancer. Henry did this one with me and we had a great time. The second was for Northwest Hope and Healing, an organization that provides support for women affected by breast cancer. Mom, Jenna, Mari and Carol came to support me at this one…what a blast.

In April, Henry and I got to go to Vancouver to celebrate Stacey’s 40th Birthday. We had such a fun time, just hanging out, shopping and going to the spa with Stacey, JT & Leanne (Henry didn’t spa).

Medically, everything is just fine, I’m feeling great. I’m actually coming up on all my check-ups in the next couple of weeks. Mammogram this week, MRI next week, blood work and doctor check-ups the following week. I have also been approved for a breast reduction as part of my reconstruction from my lumpectomy. I don’t have a date set for this surgery yet.

My 40th Birthday is this week, Friday. I’m so excited, I really can’t wait. I’m going to go to the spa with girlfriends and have a BBQ with friends and family. I have never been one to really celebrate my birthday, I’ve thought of it as just another day, but things are different now and I see my birthdays as a gift.

I hope all is well with everyone and that your year is going well so far.

Much love and Peace,

~K

One year post chemo

2009-03-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and realized its a milestone day...one year post major chemo! It is amazing to me that a whole year has gone by.

It has been just recently that I've realized cancer has changed my life, I think for the better. It seems strange to say I am grateful for cancer, but I am grateful. It didn't change the core of who I am, but I think it has enhanced who I am. It has made me incredibly grateful for every day and for all the people in my life.

My life is not perfect, but I have nothing to complain about I am healthy and alive. I am determined to stay healthy and live my life to its fullest.

As always I appreciate each and everyone of you who has been here with me along the way.

Much Love and Peace
~K

Radiology Check-up

2009-01-30T21:14:00.000-08:00

I went in to see Dr. Spiegel, my radiologist, yesterday for my six month post radiation check-up. Everything is good. I still have quite a bit of tenderness along my incision line and under my breast. Dr. Spiegel tells me that this is really just a short time out from radiation and that things should continue to get better. I will continue to do my check-ups with him as I need to, next one again in six months.

I am very sad today; I found out that a friend I met through another friend and through treatment isn't doing well. She has ovarian cancer that has spread. Cancer is a hideous disease, and ovarian cancer is especially hideous. It is incredibly difficult to detect and is usually late stage by the time it is found. My heart is broken for her and her son. I am going to do everything I can to support them. Please say a prayer or send a good thought, I know she will appreciate it.

Peace ~
K

A New Day...

2009-01-20T22:44:00.000-08:00

I am grateful for a peaceful day, looking forward with hope for an even brighter day for our children and for each of us. "Yes we can"...if we do it together!

Happy 2009!

2009-01-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm a little late in wishing a Happy New Year. I hope everyone had a great Holiday season, whatever you celebrate, and I hope this will be a wonderful year for everyone.

In my last post, I said that my oncologist had told me the following treatment would be my last. Well, we had a big snow storm a couple days before I was scheduled to go in, so I called just to ask how everything was going at the hospital with the snow and if I should reschedule. They called me back to let me know that Dr. Ellis said I could just be done. So my last treatment on December 3rd was my LAST treatment...what a Merry Christmas to me!

I still have the usual follow-ups to do and a couple more tests left, but other than that I'm done. I feel done and I'm grateful to be done. It's been a very long year and a half, I'm ready to concentrate on other things.

I am very grateful to each and everyone of you for supporting me through this. It has given me such encouragement to know that I have you by my side. Thank you.

I am going to keep blogging, maybe not quite as often but I will continue.

Peace and Love,
~K

Almost completely done

2008-12-03T21:08:00.000-08:00

I went in for my Herceptin today. Just a normal day, but today we double checked to see when I could be done knowing that I was getting close. Last time Dr. Ellis had said something to me about January. I thought I would be done at the end of this month. Turns out I was right; I only have ONE left. It's sechdeuled for December 23rd.

I'm so excited, I can't believe I'm almost done. I don't even have the words for it right now...

Thank you all so much for everything this past year and a half, it has meant so much to me.

Peace
K

Oops, two months flew by!

2008-11-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I haven't written for two months! It's really been even longer since the last time I wrote was just about the walk.

Henry and I had a great end to our summer. He went to his first sleep away camp and returned on his 10th birthday. It is beyond me how he's gotten to be 10. I am amazed by him each and every day. We took the last week and a half and drove to California to see friends and family. We went to the Oregon Caves, Humboldt County, St Helena, Sonoma and San Francisco. It was a really great way to end our summer.

Henry is really enjoying school this year. He seems more settled, which isn't really a surprise after last year; he had a lot on his mind. He's started playing the trumpet and is taking to it quite easily. He's also continuing his TaeKwonDo and is a green belt now. A couple weeks ago he had a small accident and cut his finger, so we spent the evening in the hospital getting 4 stitches. He was so brave, much more than I. The stitches are out and he's healed up now. I hope we never have to do that again.

I'm still having Herceptin every three weeks; only three more to go. It's easy, it just makes me tired. I have lots of hot flashes from the Tamoxifen too. Some days are worse than others, but I try to ignore them and move on, though I have been known to walk out on the deck in the rain to cool down.

There are days when I feel as if nothing has changed, other than my hair, and then there are days when I know that nothing is the same. I think I like the fact that everything is changed.

Much Love and Peace

~K

Me and Hery at Halloween
He's a hippie...Peace, Love and Obama man!

Shari did it!

2008-09-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

My sister Shari and her team, CheckYourBoobies, participated in the Breast Cancer 3-day this weekend. They walked over 60 miles in just three days. I am so proud of all of them. It took a huge amount of dedication and training over the past few months. They are all amazing.

Just by luck Mom, Jenna and I got to see Shari as she came across the finish line, that meant the world to me. I am so honored that she and her friends took this journey not only on my behalf but on the behalf of all the other women who have been or will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

Thank you Shari, I love you!

I hope everyone is well. I will do an update on me soon.

Much love,
~K

Busy Summer

2008-08-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

Henry and I have been keeping very busy, the summer is flying by.

We just returned from a few days on Orcas Island with my sister Shari and her family. We had a great time. Henry spent most of his three days swimming with his cousins. I spent most of mine relaxing.

Henry, Jadelyn, Kurt & Kohl

Henry will be returning to Orcas on Tuesday to attend a week at Camp Orkila. We went and looked around camp when we were up on the island and it looks great. We'll be busy for the next couple of days getting him ready.

I'm feeling pretty good these days. I feel like I've gotten most of my energy back, which is really nice. I'm still not sleeping as well as I'd like, but I blame that on the hot flashes from the Tamoxifen waking me up in the middle of the night. I went in a couple of weeks ago for my radiation follow-up. Dr. Spiegal told me that he was quite impressed that I had healed so quickly given the burns I had under my breast, he had expected I would still have some redness, but I had none. I'm thrilled too. I'm continuing with my Herceptin treatments every three weeks and will finish in December or January. Things seem to be getting back to a "new" normal for me.

I hope all is well with everyone.

Much Love and Peace

It's been a year...

2008-07-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a year since I found out I had breast cancer, it's my cancerversary. Looking back on the year I sometimes can't believe how much I've done and been through; diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.

I thought I might have a lot to say today, but what I really want to say is "thank you." Thank you to each and every one of you for being here for me. Thank you for all of your love, kind words, cards, e-mails, flowers, gifts, wigs, hats, soup and visits this past year. I have received so much love and support from everyone and it has meant so much to me. Thank you!

I especially want to say "thank you" to my mom. She has been here with me through each and every step of this journey. It was mom who insisted she go with me to my follow-up mammogram; the one I thought was just going to be extra photos. I had no idea I was really going to need her there that day. Mom went to every appointment with me, held my hand through all my biopsies, waited for me to get out of surgery and sat through every chemotherapy with me. Thank you mom, I love you.

I also want to say "thank you" to Henry. This year has been difficult for him, seeing his mom go through this every day, but he did much better than I expected he would. He didn't especially like that I lost my hair, but he learned to understand it and would rub my head for luck before going to bed. He was so helpful when I wasn't feeling good, he would tuck me in on the sofa making sure I was warm enough, it really was the sweetest thing. I love you Henry.

This past year has taught me so much and I'm glad to have had it. I wouldn't say it was a good year, but it was my year and one I will never forget.

I hope all is well with each and every one of you.

Much love and Peace,
~K

All healed up

2008-07-06T23:34:00.001-07:00

It took about a week, maybe a little more, but all of the redness from my radiation is completely gone. My skin is still quite dry, but even that is getting better. I'm feeling more and more like my old self every day too. It's nice not to feel so tired all the time.

We've had a busy couple of weeks since our summer started. I went to Las Vegas with my girlfriends for Laura's 40th birthday. I had a great time. While I was gone Henry went to skateboard camp. He said it was really fun.

We didn't do quite as much last week. We went to Shari's for a night, went swimming and for a bike ride. And Friday was the 4th of July...we watched the parade and fireworks.

I think I mentioned a post or two ago that Henry and I were going to have Lynette take some more photos of us. We just got them and I really like them. I thought I'd share a couple.

I hope all is well with everyone.

Much Love, K

Race for the Cure

2008-06-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

Our little team (me, Henry, Shari, Jadelyn, Kurt, Kohl, Stacey and Kate) participated in the Race for the Cure yesterday. It meant so much for me to be there and I am grateful to have been able to share it with people I love.

I hope everyone has a great week.

Love and Peace

Done...

2008-06-16T22:35:00.001-07:00

It's been 11 months since I was diagnosed, it feels like a life time and it feels like it was just yesterday. I think I needed a few days for it to really sink in that I'm done with treatment. It occurred to me last night that I didn't have to get up and go to radiation today, it was almost surprising.

My skin is healing up quickly although I'm still a little red underneath my breast and my arm, it's not hurting like it was just a few days ago. It's gotten REALLY itchy and started peeling in a couple places. I'm happy to have my aloe and hydrocortisone. I'm still so grateful that I only had a relatively mild reaction to the radiation; I know it was much worse for so many people.

I have my next Herceptin treatment tomorrow and will continue to have them every three weeks for the rest of this year. Even though I'm still doing that it really does feel like my treatment is over. Herceptin is so easy and there aren't any side effects from it, it hardly feels like cancer treatment.

Henry went to Camp Hamilton for three days with his class last week. I went up too, but didn't stay the night because I needed to be back to finish radiation. We got the good half of the week, the sun came out and it was beautiful.

Wednesday is the last day of school. I think Henry is looking forward to being done and having some time off. He's going to skateboard camp next week and is really looking forward to that, it should be fun.

On Wednesday we're also going to see out friend Lynette for another photo shoot. I love that we've been able to do this with her and that we've gotten some really great photos to capture this past year.

Saturday is The Race for The Cure. I'm really looking forward to it, I have a feeling it will be very emotional for all of us. So far our team has raised $1,485 ($985 on-line and a $500 check) for breast cancer research. I'm really proud of us and I'm grateful to everyone who has donated. I will post a group photo of us after the race on Saturday. http://www.pugetsoundraceforthecure.org/site/TR/Race/General?team_id=10900&pg=team&fr_id=1110&et=yowcefBxYwizooJIiSi4lw..&s_tafId=9620

I hope eveyone is doing well

Much love and Peace
~K

Almost done

2008-06-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done with my radiation treatments! I have only 6 left, 2 more full breast and 4 directly to my lumpectomy site. My skin is very pink (like a bad sunburn) but it doesn't really hurt that much, mostly it's just achy. I really thought that given my fair skin my burn would be pretty bad and I suppose when you look at it it does look like a bad burn, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it might be or it could have been. I feel very lucky.

I went and had my first "hair cut" today. It was getting pretty scraggly looking. Sian, my hair stylist, shaped it up very nicely. I could tell that it was starting to come in darker than it was originally, with the cut it looks much darker to me. It had also gone from being very soft, to really fuzzy. Anyway, I like it I think I'll keep it short for a while.

It's getting to be the end of the school year and very busy. Henry has 2 field trips this week and a 3-day camp trip next week. I think he's looking forward to being done with school and ready for summer.

I hope all is well with everyone.

Much Love and Peace
~K

39 for the first time...

2008-05-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday today. Someone asked me how it felt to be 39. Quite honestly it feels great. I'm grateful I'm still here to be 39 years old and I will be grateful for each and every year I get to have after this one.

Things are going pretty well. Radiation isn't so bad, it's a bit of a pain in the butt to go every day, but most days I don't mind it (they all sang "happy birthday" to me today). My skin is getting a little red and itchy and my breast feels a little like it's bruised on the inside, very achy. The thing that has surprised me the most is how tired I feel in the late afternoon. My doctor told me I would probably feel fatigued I just wasn't expecting it to be this intense. Most days I just try to push past it.

My hair is getting long (it's all relative!) and curly. It doesn't have that downy soft texture any more. I can see that the red is getting darker too. It's pretty cool to watch the changes it's going through. My eyebrows have pretty much grown back and my eyelashes are getting longer everyday too. I really like my eyelashes; they're much fuller than before.

This past weekend Henry participated in the Tour de Cure to raise money for diabetes research. He rode 45 miles in 90 degree heat. It took him nearly eight hours to complete the whole thing. He could have chosen to do a shorter ride or pulled off the course at any time, but he said he wanted to do the 45 miles because that's what he said he was going to do and his Tae Kwon Do instructor told him you should finish what you start. I can't tell you how proud I am of him.

I hope all is well with everyone.

Much love and many blessings.
~K

Just a quick update

2008-05-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

Radiation has been going well. I've completed two weeks and I'm into my third now. I still don't like it, but it's tolerable since it's such a short time out of my day. I can see a small change in my skin color. It's slightly pink and it's starting to feel uncomfortable in places. I was really hoping I would be one of those women who didn't have any skin irritation. I know it's silly, but a girl can hope, can't she?

I had my third Herceptin infusion and saw my oncologist last week. My chemo side effects seem to be pretty much gone. I hardly have any numbness or pain in my feet any more which is great. I'm still not as fast as I used to be, but hopefully now that I'm not hurting so much any more I'll be able to move more and start to feel even better.

Henry and I are going to be doing the Komen Race for the Cure on June 21. Our goal is to each raise $150. I know it seems like a very small amount, but that is the amount that will make it possible for an uninsured or underserved woman to receive a mammogram. It is very important to me because without a mammogram my cancer wouldn't have been found as early as it was, and early detection is so important. Please visit our "Team Red" website if you'd like to donate. http://www.pugetsoundraceforthecure.org/site/TR?JServSessionIdr007=rwcwwf9qj5.app8a&pg=team&fr_id=1110&team_id=10900

I hope all is well with everyone.

Peace
K

First day of Radiation

2008-04-28T21:59:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of radiation. I don't like radiation. I don't like that I have to be alone in the room and I can't move. On the plus side, it is very quick. My appointment is at 9:20 and I was out of the office and in my car at 9:35. They're very efficient, one person in, one person out. They're also very nice and I know they could tell I didn't want to be there so they were trying to ease my fears, I appreciate that.

I don't have much else to update. I just wanted to let everyone know how the first day went.

I hope everyone had a good day.

~K

Hair

2008-04-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

My hair is still growing back nicely. I think it may even be getting some curl to it. It's still hard to tell what color it's going to be. It's red, but not as dark as it used to be. I hope that changes, I really liked my color before. I'm really ready to start going without my hats, I'm tired of them, but it's still a little cold sometimes to go without. I got a really nice complement on of my hats today though; a lady actually pulled over in her can while I was on my walk to ask me where I got it. It was one of the ones I made, so of course I felt all proud of myself. I'm still ready to be done with them though.

So while the hair on the top of my head fell out during chemo, I managed to keep most of my eyebrows and lashes. They thinned out a bit, but I still had them. Had them until yesterday that is. A few days ago I noticed that I had lost more eyelashes and then the next day more were gone. Yesterday morning I had four left (I counted) and by the end of the day they were all gone. I have no idea why they waited until five weeks after chemo ended to fall out but that's what they did. I've gotten myself some very nice false lashes but I'm also getting used to going without. I only have a few eyebrows left now too. I'm hoping both will grow back quickly and maybe they'll even be thicker and fuller than they were...a girl can dream can't she?

My radiation test run is in the morning. I'm off to get a good sleep.

Peace
~K

Got my new tattoos today

2008-04-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

Today was my radiation planning session. It was pretty painless. I went in, Dr. Spiegel marked my chest and then the radiology techs put me through the CT scanner to ensure proper alignment for radiation. After they made sure everything was lined up correctly I was given my tattoos. One is right in the middle of my chest and the other is at the other end of my incision, somewhere under my arm. I love how they tell you it's just going to look like a little freckle. It actually looks exactly like what it is, a place where someone poked ink into my skin. The one on my chest is kind of irritated, I'm hoping that goes away quickly. Radiation will start next Monday, the 28th, and end on June 12th.

I also went to see Dr. Beatty (my surgeon) today for further follow up and to get the results from the mammogram and MRI I had last week. Everything is just fine there. I will go in again in six months for a follow-up mammogram and then an MRI in a year.

I like Dr. Beatty so much, he will always tell me just how it is and I appreciate that. Today he told me that because of the fairness of my skin and the fact that I still have a fairly large breast (so a larger area of radiation) that radiation may be harder on me than other people. No sugar coating, that's just the way it is. Now of course I'm hoping I will get lucky like I did with chemo and I won't have the big side effects, but it's good to know what they are and what I can expect so I can attempt to do something about it if I experience them.

Oh and I also started my Tamoxifen today the first day of what will most likely be five years.

Henry has been going to Tae Kwon Do for the past couple months. He's doing very well. He's going to belt test on Friday to move up to a new belt. This evening he attempted to teach me his form, I'm sure I looked hysterical, but it was fun.

Wow, it has been a busy day, no wonder I'm tired...

I hope all is well with each of you.
~K

Home Again

2008-04-13T22:20:00.001-07:00

We got home from our trip to Washington DC and New York on Wednesday evening. We had a great time.

We arrived in DC the opening day of the Cherry Blossom Festival. It was so beautiful to walk around the tidal basin and see all of the trees. Henry took some beautiful pictures of the trees. I think we managed to see everything we wanted to. Henry really wanted to go to the Lincoln Memorial; we did that the first day. We did a lot of walking while we were there, and saw so many things.

We took the train from DC to NYC, a fun way to arrive. We got to see Jenna and spend some time with her. I really wanted to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge while we were there so we did. We took the subway to Brooklyn, went to the Transit Museum (I highly recommend it), had pizza and then walked across the bridge. It was a beautiful sunny day and I loved doing it.

All the walking took a toll on my feet, they were aching at the end of each day, but it was worth it, I got to see all the things I really wanted to.

I'm back to doctor appointments this week. I have Herceptin on Tuesday and my follow-up mammogram and MRI on Wednesday.

I hope everyone has had a good couple of weeks and all is well for each and every one of you.

Much Love and Peace.
~K

Vacation Time

2008-03-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

We’re on our way to Washington DC tomorrow and then on to New York next Saturday. I’m really looking forward to getting away from home for a while.

I started my Herceptin infusions this week. Since it’s just the one drug and no pre-meds it’s much faster than chemo; I was only at the hospital for about three hours as opposed to five or six with chemo. I only have to do this every three weeks so I get a nice break in between too.

The numbness in my feet is still with me and it’s also affected a few of my fingers. I’m really ready for the numbness to be gone. Unfortunately, I’ve been told it takes a while for it to go away completely, but it should go away. The other side effects seem to be gone, never to return I hope.

I hope everyone has a good couple of weeks. I’ll write when we get home.

Peace to you
~K

Last chemo day...part two

2008-03-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

My last day of chemo seemed to fly by. I was still at the hospital for the usual amount of time, but it didn't seem like it at all. I'm sure I had a big grin on my face and I was telling anyone who would listen that it was my last day.

I'm so glad to be done with this part of my treatment and really ready to start feeling more like myself again.

Sorry I don't have much more to say this evening, I just wanted everyone to know things went well yesterday.

~K

Last chemo day!!!

2008-03-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

It’s been almost six months since I started the chemotherapy part of my journey and now I’m on my way to my last day of it. I can’t believe it, but it’s true!

Thank you all for being here and supporting me every day, I can’t tell you how much it means to me.

Much Love and Peace

Just one chemo left...

2008-03-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

Today was good and really fast. The lab was fast, my Dr. was on time, the wait was really short to get called into chemo and all the drugs seemed to show up quickly from the pharmacy. I was done by 2:30, four hours total today.

My friend Cathy (Chemo Cat) drove me in today and spent most of the time with me; Mom came later and drove me home. I think it was good to give Mom a little break and it was nice to be able to spend some time with Cathy. I love that each of us who have been through one of these steps before another woman is able to share what she learned and what she choose to do with her treatment. Leanne and Cathy and so many others have shared this information with me and I am sharing it with my other friend Cathy, who I know will then pass it on to the next woman she meets. I am honored to share the things I have learned with anyone who wants to know, just as I am honored to ask and learn from the women who have come before me.

Today when I spoke with Dr. Ellis we made a plan for my ongoing treatment with her. I will begin having the Herceptin every three weeks for the rest of the year. My first session will be March 26th. Herceptin is the drug that targets the HER2-positive cancer. I will go have another MUGA to check my heart next Tuesday as the Herceptin can affect heart function and we want to see how it's doing now that I've already had 12 sessions of it and will have 12-13 more. http://www.breastcancer.org/search.jsp?searchagain=herceptin I will begin Tamoxifen in the next few weeks too. Tamoxifen blocks the estrogen receptors on breast cancer cells. Dr. Ellis said she likes to give her patients a little time in between ending chemo and beginning the Tamoxifen, so that the majority of the side effects from the Taxol can go away and we can tell if I am having side effects from the Tamoxifen. I will be on Tamoxifen or an Aromatase Inhibitor for the next five years. http://www.breastcancer.org/search.jsp?searchagain=tamoxifen

Next week I will also be going to speak with my radiation oncologist to start proceeding towards my radiation. I'm trying to gather all my thoughts and questions for him that I have about it, there are so many. There is the possibility that I will be able to have radiation here in Edmonds rather than driving to Seattle every day, but I won't do it without the assurance from him that the level of care would be the same or better.

After all those appointments, I get an actual break and we are going to Washington DC and New York over Spring Break. I can't wait!

I hope you all have had a good day too.

Peace ~ K

Only two more now!!!!

2008-03-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is number 11 of 12! I can't believe it...but I'm ready for it. I'm so ready to be done with chemo!

Henry learned to "finger knit" at school today and made me a chemo scarf this evening to take with me tomorrow. I can't wait to wear it for my last two sessions.

My toes are still tingling from the numbness, some days are worse than others, but the glutamine really does help. I just hope it goes away quickly after the Taxol is done. Unfortunately, the "little infection" in my toe wasn't as small as I had thought. My oncologist put me on an antibiotic for it last week and I went to see the podiatrist Monday, I swear he cut off half my toenail! Thankfully my toe is feeling a little better. I think my side effects have been pretty minimal through all of this, but sometimes it feels like there's always something. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but this chemo thing is really a pain in the ass!

On the plus side, I'm getting a lovely head of hair. It's really fuzzy and it sticks up all over the place, cowlicks everywhere! It gives me a good laugh and something to look forward to. I'll post another picture of it soon.

I hope everyone is doing really well.

Much love and Peace ~

Countdown!!!

2008-02-27T20:54:00.000-08:00

Only three left now! I truly can't believe it. I know it's not ALL done when chemo is over, but it's so much closer.

I haven’t been feeling especially great the past couple of days. I have a cold and I’m so dried out I get a bloody nose a couple times a day. That’s really special! Also, because the Taxol is so drying it allows your nails to lift a little bit sometimes and I got a little infection in one of them. It’s small, not even worthy of antibiotics so I figure it will be all better very soon. The numbness in my feet (still none in my fingers) got much worse last week, very painful, I was so surprised because it took so many weeks to kick in, but chemo is cumulative so I shouldn’t have been all that surprised. I’m still having some numbness but it seems to be getting better now that I’m taking the correct amount of glutamine. It really helps to read the doctor’s directions! She wrote 10g three times a day and I read once a day…a difference of 20g. No wonder it’s working now! The taste of food and water is getting better too. I still have the strange taste in my mouth after chemo, but it’s lasting less time each session which is great.

I saw friends today at chemo, which is always great. It puts me in a much better mood. Sometimes I think we put on a “show” for each other because we want the other to know we’re doing ok, but sometimes we just tell it like it is…like this is ridiculous and we’d rather be somewhere else. We smile and we laugh AND we vent and cry, all of the things we need to do to get through this. None of us asked to be here, this is not the “life lesson” we signed up for, but we’re here and for the most part I think we’re all making the best of this. Most everyone I’ve met is a fighter and we all know this is not a walk in the park, it’s a marathon that we didn’t train for but we’re all managing in our own special way to make it through.

I am very grateful for each of these new women I’ve met, but mostly I’m grateful that Mom goes with me each and every week. It means the world to me to have her there supporting me. We had Jen, my nurse, take our picture today. It’s cute so I’m sharing it. Maybe my hair will be as long as hers one of these days!!!

I hope everyone is doing well.

Peace
~K

Only five left!!!

2008-02-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was round seven of Taxol/Herceptin. This part of my journey will be over before I know it and then I'll be on to radiation. I'm really looking forward to the end of chemo.

I'm starting to feel better, I still get pretty tired but I'm getting better sleep now so it's not so bad. My blood work came back this week indicating that I'm slightly anemic again; I was a few weeks ago too. Nothing to be all that concerned about, I just need to eat more iron-rich foods. Too bad food still doesn’t taste very good; I'm really looking forward to the end of that! I've started getting a little neuropathy (numbness) in my feet but it's mostly just in the evening so it's manageable, I'm glad it's not in my fingers at all. My hot flashes have even subsided a bit. I was getting a couple/few each day for a while, but now I’m getting fewer than one a day…hopefully that will continue to be the norm. All things considered, my side effects have been so minimal I feel really lucky.

I think I mentioned in my last post that I had gotten dizzy a couple weeks ago while I was having my chemo. We thought it was because I was dehydrated, but then it happened again last week. We figured out that both times it happened were during or shortly after I was given benadryl. It turns out I was having a reaction to the benadryl, they think because I had stopped taking the steroids prior to going in for my treatment. Yesterday I was switched to a benadryl pill instead of the IV type. I still had a little reaction, but it was very mild and I didn't feel like I was going to pass out.

Henry went to chemo with me yesterday. He's wanted to go and I think it was good for him to see what happens (he wasn't there for the needles). He got to go to art therapy while we were there and draw (his favorite thing) and talk. He keeps telling me he'd like to go again...I think he just liked skipping school! It was really nice to have him there though.

So that's really about it for now. I'm just taking each day as it comes, so far so good.

I hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day!

~K

Time is flying

2008-02-01T22:40:00.000-08:00

The rounds of chemo seem to be flying by now. I completed my fifth round of Taxol/Herceptin on Wednesday and have only seven more to go!

I’m still feeling pretty good. As I’ve mentioned before, these rounds are not nearly as difficult as the last. I swear my biggest complaint is still the fact that water tastes so bad for a few days after I have my chemo! Unfortunately, I think that may have led to my being a little dehydrated on chemo day this week. Luckily I was already there when I started to get dizzy and the nurses were all over it. I got some extra fluids and took a nap, all is better now.

My hair is really growing back quickly now. It feels so much thicker than just a couple weeks ago AND it’s red. I don’t think I’ll be giving up my hats for a while though. I’m not even sure what I’m going to do with hair and it hasn’t even been gone that long!

I really don’t have much else to tell. I just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here, still doing well and still kicking cancer in the butt!

Love to all…

Checking In

2008-01-20T21:09:00.000-08:00

I’m sorry I haven’t written for a couple weeks. Time has been flying by as I had hoped it would having chemo very week.

Chemo days are still very much the same, I go in have my blood work done, meet with Dr. Ellis and have my infusion. The time is about the same as it had been rather than the nearly five hours it took for my first infusion of Taxol/Herceptin. The infusion is usually about three and a half hours now, not so bad. I didn’t have an allergic reaction to the Taxol at all so Dr. Ellis reduced the steroids I have to take prior to going in for treatment…YEA!!!! I’m so thrilled, because I hate the way they make me feel and any reduction in the amount helps as far as I’m concerned.

The new drugs are so much easier than the last. I still have some side effects, water tastes terrible for a couple/few days after treatment. Food still tastes weird too, most things are just tasteless. I’ve been eating a lot of spicy foods so I can taste something. I still get pretty tired a couple days after treatments, but I'm not sleeping well, it's is my only big complaint. Everyone I’ve talked to who’s been through this has had the same complaint, they can't sleep. I think it’s a combination of the steroids and the huge change in hormones, either way it's hard not to have a good night's sleep.

My hair is growing back!!! It’s so soft and about a half inch long (in some places). My mom said its lots of different colors, I might look like a Calico when it comes in! I’m just looking for the red to come back. I'm going to attach a picture, although I'm not sure you can really tell how much is there, I think you can get the idea.

Hope all is well with everyone!

New Year, New Chemo

2008-01-03T12:55:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all!! I hope everyone had wonderful Holidays. We had a very nice Christmas and a very quiet New Year. Henry came home on Christmas and was home through New Years Day. Jenna was home for Christmas too, she hadn’t been home for six months so it was really nice to see her. Shari, Kurt and the kids came over for Christmas too, lots of fun.

Henry and I went to see Lynette again a coupe of weeks ago to have more photos done. Lynette has posted some of my favorites on her web site. Please take a look. http://www.soulumination.org/kristingallery3.html Click on “more Kristin” to see the rest.

I went in for my first round of Taxol and Herceptin yesterday, the first of 12. I'm now going once a week, every Wednesday. Everyone I've talked to has told me this round, the Taxol and Herceptin, is much easier that than the previous round. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

My new chemo process began at midnight, when I had to take my first round of steroids. My second round was at 6:30 in the morning. The steroids are supposed to help minimize the side effects, but also with this round help to minimize the possibility of an allergic reaction to the Taxol.

Mom and I got to the hospital at 11:30, I had my blood work done (WBC 5,700, yea!) and saw my Doctor. We got to the chemo unit about 1:00 and into my room at 1:30. I think the drug list got bigger yesterday...Ativan (to relax), Zofran (for nausea), Decadron (more steroids), Benadryl (In case I had an allergic reaction to the Taxol), Pepcid (again for nausea), Taxol & Herceptin (the actual chemo drugs). It was a long day at the hospital, luckily I slept through 2 of it (ativan and benadryl makes a good sleeping pill). We left the hospital at 6:30. Long day…

I didn't have an allergic reaction to the Taxol, I guess it's rare, but they prepare for it just in case. The nurse sat and watched me for the first 20 minutes of the infusion and took my blood pressure every 15 minutes through the whole infusion to be sure I wasn’t having a reaction. My Doctor told me that if I didn't have a reaction over the next couple of weeks she would cut back on the amount of steroids I'm being given. This would be a thrill for me because they make me pretty shaky.

I feel pretty good today, but I usually feel pretty good the day after chemo. I’m hoping the crash won’t be so big this time, or maybe I won’t even have one, since the drugs are supposed to be easier on the system…fingers crossed again.

I think I’ve sufficiently filled eveyone in although I’m sure I’ve missed something.

Happy New Year again to all. I hope 2008 is a fabulous year for all of us.

Love and Peace

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling much better and I'm very grateful that I don't have to go in for my next treatment for another week. Can't ask for much more than that this Christmas!

Henry is with his dad tonight and will be home tomorrow for Christmas. I am really looking forward to spending Christmas with him and my family and friends.

I hope you all have a great day no matter what you do.

Merry Christmas and much love!

Chemo Crash

2007-12-09T20:08:00.000-08:00

I hate chemo crash...I'm exhausted.

I did really well on Thursday I even went and did a little shopping. Then I started to crash on Friday, I can't even really tell you what I've done the past couple of days. I really hate this time after the chemo, because I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep and I'm agitated (I think that's from the steroids). I've been going to sleep, but waking up shortly after and tossing and turning through the night. I'd like to take a nap during the day, but I don't seem to be able to go to sleep then either. So I just try to lie down and at least relax for a while. Today I did every bit of organizing I could do sitting in bed watching a movie.

I know this won't last long and I'll be on the upswing again soon, but this just really sucks this time and I felt the need to share.

I'm so glad to be done with this end of my chemo and to feel like I'm on the down side of my treatments. I have twelve more to go, but I really think it will go by much faster, as it will be once a week. Plus I've been told by so many people these next rounds will be easier than the first...I'm counting on this!

Thanks for being here and listening...

Last round of A/C...YEA!!!

2007-12-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

I completed my four rounds of Adriamycin/Cytoxan today. It's a little bit of a milestone (ok, it's a big milestone) and I'm so glad to be done with it. The A/C is the stronger of the chemotherapy drugs I get, with more side effects, so I'm glad this part is just about over. It's only been a few hours , the only side effect that's kicked in is my aversion to water (it's a quick one). I'll tackle the rest of them as they com along over the next week or so.

I will start my Taxol and Herceptin on January 2nd. I will be getting those two drugs once a week for twelve weeks. I should hopefully be done with that by the end of March, at least that's the goal.

The chemo process seems to get shorter and easier each time, I hope that continues as I move on to the next phase. I adore the nurses, both in the lab and up in the chemo unit, they know exactly what I need (extra lidocaine, sensitive skin dressing and the drugs given over a longer period of time). I know I could never do what they do, because of the needles, but I wish I could just to give the comfort they provide.

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. My white cell count is at a completely reasonable number (4900), plus I'm all pumped up on steroids. I could live without the steroids, I hate the way they make me feel, but Dr. Ellis tells me it really helps the anti nausea medicine and I tend to believe her since I haven't had any. I'm thrilled about the white cell count, given my low of 500 a couple weeks ago, I hope to not have that happen again.

I am starting to feel a little tired, but not horribly. Mom and I went and had soup after treatment and saw a bunch of friends walking around Edmonds. You know, it's really nice to hear, "You look really great, you had treatment today?!?" It's especially nice since my eyelashes and brows have started falling out...I can still get mascara on them!

While we were in Edmonds we met (finally) Cathy Nilon who has recently written a children's book about chemotherapy called "Chemo Cat". http://www.chemocat.com/ We got the book in a very round about way (we live in a very small town) and I have been wanting to meet her. She saw me walking down the street and stopped to talk to me, having no idea who I was. We had a great talk, I hope to be able to spend more time talking to her.

It's taken me a couple hours to write this...my concentration is failing me as I become more tired. It must be time for bed.

I hope all is well with all of you!

Much love, K

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T20:04:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

Mine was not as I had planned. We had planned to go to our friend's for a Thai dinner. Henry was with his dad and my sister and her family usually come over on Friday so we planned our traditional Thanksgiving for tomorrow.

I woke up feeling awful this morning. I had been in to see the doctor yesterday to have my white blood count done and it had gone all the way down to 500! My normal, non-chemo, is 5000 and it had been down to 1650, but 500 is extremely low.

I called in to the doctor today, and told him how I was feeling and he prescribed antibiotics again. However, he also told me that if I had a fever at all or was feeling really bad that I needed to call again. I'm a terrible patient...but I've not felt this bad for such a long time I didn't think it was a good idea to take any chances given my low blood count...so in I went to the hospital. I was given IV fluids and more antibiotics and a shot of Neupogen to boost my white cells. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my Thanksgiving at all, but I am really grateful they were there. I am so grateful for everyone of my doctors and nurses, they are truly wonderful.

I'm still not feeling very good, but I'm home and I happy for that. I even more happy that Henry came home this evening instead of tomorrow, I feel better when he's here.

So even though my day was not as planned or what I wanted to do at all, I'm still grateful for the day and for all of you.

Much love to all of you!

Number three done

2007-11-18T20:33:00.000-08:00

Round three of chemo was on Wednesday. Mom and Shari went with me this time, it was nice to have both of them there for company.

Chemo went about an hour faster than usual. The nurses thought I was just there for a shot of Nulasta to boost my white cell count, so I got called in a lot earlier than normal and they started the meds a little sooner. All in all it was pretty uneventful...I guess I'm just getting used to the routine.

I felt pretty good on Thursday and Friday, except for the terrible taste in my mouth. The drugs seem to kick in after a couple days and make me really tired. I feel like I've hardly left the couch today! I feel like a slug.

My sister, Shari, had her annual "Check Your Boobies" party last night. It was a really good and very informative time. Check Your Boobies was started by a friend of hers who was diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age as well, it's a great organization, please check it out.

http://www.checkyourboobies.org/

I'm sorry I don't have all that much to say...I really just wanted to check in and let you all know I'm doing ok.

Take care of yourselves!!!!!

Just a little update

2007-11-07T20:07:00.001-08:00

I wanted to thank everyone again for being here and for all your kind words and support.

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough. The side effects, although minimal in number, have packed a punch. Last week I had insomnia, this week I have the painful side effect of heartburn. Happily the insomnia passed after a couple nights of literally no sleep. Unhappily, the heartburn is taking a little more work, I tired all the usual over the counter remedies and have now gone on to a prescription, I'm hoping it works soon. In the last day I've developed a very strange tingling feeling in my nose, my oncologist tells me this is a side effect of one of the drugs, who would have thought!

I had to go in to see my oncologist today and have my blood work done, because I had a fever last night. Something I never would have considered calling a doctor about before... My white blood cell count had gone down from 6900 last week to 1650 today, not a really good sign. She put me on an antibiotic to try to get whatever it is that might be causing this. If that doesn't work, next week when I go in for my next session they will give me something else to help with my white counts. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for better white counts...I've got enough drugs in me.

My hair is completely gone now. I couldn't stand the little prickly/patchy amount that was left so my mom shaved it off for me yesterday. That wasn't something I ever thought I would say...I shaved my head...yikes! I swear it's still a new experience every time I look in the mirror, even though I've been essentially bald for a few weeks now. I miss my hair more now that it's getting cold, it kept my neck warm. I suppose it's a good thing I don't mind wearing turtlenecks.

That's about it for now. Much love to you all!!!!

Second round down

2007-10-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was very similar to my first round; it took less time since they didn't have to go over everything with me this time.

We got to the hospital around 10:30 for blood work, and then saw Dr. Ellis to check in with her and see how everything was going. I told her all of my side effect has stopped and that my hair had pretty much fallen out. She said my hair fell out right on schedule. My white counts were fine, so we went upstairs to check in at chemo.

They had a hard time getting my port in again which is stressful for me because I just don't like the idea of the needles. They had to do it twice again. I learned that some of the nurses are specifically there for accessing the ports, I will ask for one of them next time.

I asked for a window, because I thought it would be really nice to be able to see outside, but it was cold and gloomy so it made the room cold too. I ended up with my sweats, my jacket and three blankets on! I fell asleep, which was good.

We came home and I crashed on the couch for a couple of hours, then watched a little TV and went to bed around 11:00 and slept until 11:00 this morning! I felt pretty good today. Mom and I ran a couple of errands and had some lunch. I even went for a good walk. The day after chemo seems to be pretty good, maybe it's the steroids, and maybe it's that the drugs haven't kicked in yet. Either way, I'm glad I felt good today.

I want to thank all of you again for being here for me and for all of your wonderful thoughts and words, having all of you for support means everything to me.

Hair went bye bye

2007-10-21T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought I would have a few more days with my hair, but it wasn't to be.

On Saturday in the shower as my hair was literally jumping off my head I made the decision that it was time to have it shaved off. I knew there was just no way I was going to be able to take another shower like that and see yet another huge pile of hair.

We called Cian who does my hair, I didn't want anyone else to cut my hair. I didn't watch her cutting my hair off, I couldn't. I did cry, but not nearly as much as I thought I might. She did a great job, I have a very patchy buzz cut now. My hair is still jumping off my head, but it's not nearly as traumatic seeing the little hairs.

My mom said I was very brave, I'm not so sure about that. I suppose on some level it was my way of trying to take back some control over a situation I really have no control over at all.
It's very different, it's going to take some getting used to. I think Henry is doing better with it than I am. I'm surprised when I look in the mirror or see my shadow. He looks at me exactly the same way he did before. I'm very proud of him, he's such a sensitive soul.

I thought I'd be really brave and show you all my new haircut...

My next round of chemotherapy is the day after tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Hair vs. Chemo

2007-10-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

Turns out Chemo wins...I started loosing my hair on Monday.

My head started hurting and itching late last week, and got worse over the weekend. It feels like I have a sunburn and I've had my hair in a ponytail too long.

On Monday while I was washing my hair I got two hands full. I knew it was coming, but there was really no way to actually prepare for it. I can't imagine how you could possibly prepare for it.

My hair has been coming out in larger amounts every day. Today it looked like someone had shaved a cat in the shower when I was done! There is hair everywhere... I can tell my hair is much thinner, Henry told me I have some bald spots on top of my head, but unless you look really closely you still can't tell I'm loosing any, I had so much to start with.

This is me on Tuesday and again today...

I think I'll have my hair for a few more days and then it will be time to shave it off...

So far so good

2007-10-10T17:17:00.001-07:00

It's been a week since my first chemo therapy session...I'm doing pretty well I think. Other than being pretty tired and a having a really sore throat, I haven't had any major side effects.

I actually felt good on Thursday, the day after chemo. I think this was probably because my system was so full of steroids along with all the other drugs. Mom and I went on an outing to try on wigs :) I'm not completely convinced I'm a wig wearer, but at the same time it might be nice to have every once in a while. Plus it was just fun to see the different wigs.

Both Friday and Saturday were very tired days for me. On Friday we went to see my friends at my office. It was so nice to get to see everyone -- I miss them! On Saturday I went to our last Edmond's Summer Market for a short time. Even though I was expecting to be tired after chemo, I am surprised by just how tired I get.

The best part of the weekend was that Henry was at home. He stays pretty close when I'm napping and makes sure I'm warm enough. It's very sweet.

Food started tasting pretty strange on Thursday and nothing really sounded very good. The thing I am most surprised by is just how horrible water tastes. Water tastes awful! Soup has been the thing I've been able to eat the most. My good friends Meena and Jonny made yummy rice soup for me on Saturday. Cold things like melon, popsicles and sherbet have been good too. They feel good on my sore throat.

The past couple of days are a bit of a blur... I am starting to feel much more like myself though. I took myself for a walk yesterday and I'm even getting my appetite back!!

Today I went to see Dr. Ellis, my oncologist, for my follow-up. I had blood drawn so my white cells could be checked. They are just fine. I think my Dr. was actually surprised by my lack of side effects. I'm just happy about it!

My first Chemo

2007-10-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

My day started off completely normal -- I took Henry to school and got myself a cup of coffee. But instead of heading off to work Mom and I headed once again to the hospital....this time for Chemotherapy.

I started by giving blood to check my white cell counts and then saw my oncologist for about a half hour. We mostly discussed the side effects of chemo and all the drugs they're going to give me to help lessen the effects.

I then went up to the chemotherapy suite. Prior to going in I was given an anti-nausea drug called Emend. My nurse's name today was Linda and she was really great. She explained every step to me as she did it. She gave me another pill called Ativan. It's a sedative that is used in chemo to help prevent nausea and vomiting.

I had put numbing cream on my portacath site prior to leaving the house, but I still had feeling so Linda gave me a shot to numb it further. Next Linda put the IV into my port. I didn't like this so much, lots of pressure. Unfortunately she had to do it twice because it didn't go in the first time...yuck!

She then gave me Aloxi, another drug to prevent nausea and then Decadron, a steroid to help stabilize the anti-nausea drugs and make them more potent.

Then on to the Chemo drugs. First the Adriamicyn, the pink cool aid. I thought it was pretty interesting that they put this in manually with a syringe rather than through a bag on the IV drip. After that came the Cytoxan. Usually it is infused in about a half hour, but she did mine over an hour because it causes headaches, so doing it over an hour was an attempt to prevent the headache I felt coming on.

Finally I was done...I was at the hospital from 10:30 to 3:45! I'm sure it will take less time in the future, since a lot of yesterday was getting me acclimated to what was going on.

I was really tired by the time it was all finished...you can tell from the photos below.

The anti-nausea drugs seemed to work pretty darn well. I only got a little queasy for a short time. I fell asleep on the couch sometime between 8 and 9. Mom got me up and helped me into bed a little after 10. I got a good night's sleep and woke up feeling pretty rested.

On to the next step...

2007-10-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

If you are here, you know the past few months have not exactly been as I had planned. I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (Breast Cancer) on July 13, 2007 and had a lumpectomy on September 5, 2007. I've healed from my surgery and I will be starting my chemotherapy tomorrow (October 3, 2007) morning.

It may sound so very strange, but I'm actually looking forward to starting chemo tomorrow. Ok maybe not so much looking forward to the chemo, but looking forward to getting it started so I can get finished. I will be having AC (Adriamycin/Cytoxan) infusions once every three weeks (21 days) for four sessions. Those will end on December 5th. After that I will be getting Taxol + Herceptin once a week for 12 weeks. Grand total, 24 weeks or 6 months however you choose to look at it.

Thank you all for being here and for all you kind thoughts and words over the past few months they have meant the world to me.

I will do my best to keep you all posted.

Much Love, K

Soulumination

2007-10-02T23:22:00.000-07:00

On August 14th Henry, Mom and I went to have our friend Lynette take some pictures of us. I've been meaning to find the time to go have pictures of Henry and I taken and this seemed like a really good time.

Lynette is a wonderful photographer and person. She created a foundation called Soulumination to help families through life and loss and asked me if I would be willing to be included. The answer was, yes of course.

Please see our pictures in the Gallery on the Soulumination website.

http://www.soulumination.org/

My Haircut

2007-10-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

On August 23rd, I got my hair cut and donated 13 inches of hair to Locks of Love. I am very proud of doing this and very honored that my hair will be used for some little girl who needs it a lot more than I do right now.